We’re having a few behavior issues around our house right now.
Call it growing pains or budding independence or whatever you’d like. Bottom line: Little O has turned into Sassypants McGee and H-Berry has resorted to vampire-like tendencies to get her way.
No bueno.
Times two.
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Let’s start with Little O.
She’s a bubbly, chatty, super sweet little 3-year-old who is doing great in her preschool and dance/tumbling classes.
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But lately, her Sassypants side has started to take over, little by little. And things have slowly started to get out of control around here. We’re talking screaming-and-flat-out-defiance out of control, friends. Not acceptable.
The Hubs & I count her {1, 2…3 loses a privilege}, put her in time outs, take away her beloved 24 minutes of Doc McStuffins. We’ve even had to take away books before naptime and bedtime due to screaming, not listening, and so on.
On Sunday, Little O was cranking about something small, like how many apple slices she had to eat for lunch. She got upset and threw a fit, prompting me to wonder out loud: “Where did my nice, sweet little girl go?” Little O looked me square in the eyes and growled, “She’s goneeee.”
Oh?
And then there’s our sweet, happy-go-lucky H-Berry.
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She’s such a honey bunny~ until something doesn’t go her way. She recently became very, very comfortable with throwing epic tantrums on the floor {you know the deal…the red face, tears streaming, nose running, kicking & thrashing kind of tantrum}.
And did I mention she has vampire-like tendencies right now?
Oh yes. H-Berry’s latest form of retaliation against her big sis: biting. Little O {who I should point out is not blameless in any of these situations} is currently sporting teeth-mark bruises on her thigh {received at Target}, her hand {received at church} and her upper arm {received at home during a scuffle}.
Our child is a biter? Seriously?!
The Hubs & I are tearing our hair out. I’m on my very last straw of sanity, since I’m with both Sassypants & the Mini-Vampire 24/7.
I’ve also had constant parenting self-doubt these past few weeks: what am I doing wrong? How can I get their behavior to change? What is GOING ON?
Finally, after some tears, a good night’s sleep & a level headed discussion {and of course, a suggestion from my mom}, the Hubs & I decided to start Little O on a behavior chart. It’s too soon to say if it will be a success~ but I will say that we’re one day in and she’s loving it~ and abiding by it. She has even picked out her first “reward” for good behavior to work towards: a balloon.
Baby steps, friends. Baby steps back in the right direction.
{Please, God, be the right direction}.
As for H-Berry: SEND HELP. Little O was never a biter, so this is totally new territory for us. We have absolutely NO IDEA how to handle it other than with time-outs & reiterating “WE DON’T BITE” over & over. Clearly not making such an impact thus far.
One thing I do know: I’m not giving up on them. I’m frustrated~ so, SO frustrated~ by their behavior right now, but I know this is just normal childhood bumps on the road that we have to navigate.
But no one warned me these bumps would drive me insane. Or make me question my effectiveness as a mother. That part is rougher than navigating the sassiness and temper tantrums.
I love my children with all of my heart. I want them to be happy, well-adjusted kids. It’s times like this when I realize I need the support of family & friends to say hey, we’ve been there & we survived. Just hang in there and keep your chin up.
Because it’s isolating being the bad guy. And I hate being the bad guy.
If you’re reading this and also dealing with beahvior issues, whether its a Sassypants or a Mini-Vampire or a completely different situation, just know that I get it. I.get.it. And you aren’t alone. I’m right there with you, taking deep breaths and trying to find a solution that is effective for our family, just like you are for yours.
And if you have any ideas, send them my way. I’ll love you even more forever.
Just like I’ll love these two little girls forever, no matter what.
Counting My Kisses: My wonderful friend Corrine helped me with today’s post title~ Parenting in Progress. We’re definitely a work in progress over here, and I’m determined to find a way to get Little O & H-Berry’s behavior back on track. With lots of laughter, luck and faith, we’ll get through this & emerge better people on the other side. I’m sure of it. It may not be pretty but it is possible!
If you have tips that will help us stop another Mini-Vampire attack or reign in the Sassypants, we’re all ears!
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When we were going through the answer-to-everything-under-the-sun is “NOOOOOOO!” phase I was sad my sweet, mellow boy was gone for good – but my sister reminded me everything is a phase. And my mom always says that of course kids will try it and see if it works. Stick to your guns and (eventually) since it leads no where things will change again. And please remind me of this when we get to these phases since whenever the craziness is going on it feels like it’ll never ever end
. Oh, and K has a little friend who is a biter, too. It’s slowly starting to phase out but not after daycare called his mom like every day for a week – sounds like you’re handling it just right (the mantra at their house is “we bite food, NOT people, with a brief time out) – all good things take time. xoxoxo
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Oh Amy! Such fun things! Obviously we have the 3 year old sass going on. We are doing the same things you are…taking away privileges. As for the reward chart, it kind of flopped for us (it was for picking up toys and staying in bed). I think my expectations were too high of too many days in a row of it happening – plus, the kid gets a donut at the store every week and how many matchbox cars can we possibly get? Anywho… As for the biting, we haven’t had to deal with that. I mean, a little when J was teething and I’d just kind of bop him on the mouth, like you would a puppy! Anyway, as for the big kids biting, I’ve heard biting back works. Mean, sure, but atleast she’ll understand that it hurts. Does “Happiest Toddler” talk about the biter? Good luck! =)
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Your reply was a breath of fresh air, Bridgie! And you are so right…all good things take time. We’ll just keep holding on to that thought & remind each other of it during these phases, right!?
Thanks for the encouragement, dear friend!
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Oh Erin, these sassy 3′s are something, aren’t they?! I feel like the 2′s were way easier {although we’re almost there with H-Berry so maybe I’m jinxing myself!}. I’m totally with you on the rewards thing~ it’s working pretty well but we’re stretching for the “big” rewards. This week she got a pair of shoes she needed anyway as a reward for all of her stickers. Lol! And as for the biting…I know it’s a phase but wow, so frustrating. O never bit, from what I’ve heard it’s definitely a 2nd child thing. Keep me posted if your littlest man starts that up in the near future too! Thanks for the encouragement, it is very much needed & appreciated!
xo
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